As a mother of three, a daughter 9 years, a son 2 years and another daughter 7 weeks old, I have been there, done that and still learning! With each child, I learn a little more. When do you take them out of their bassinet, and put them in their crib? When do you take away the pacifer? When do you transition from bottle to sippy cup? When do you start potty training? When do you boot them out of your bed into their own "big kid" bed? Ask these questions to multiple people, and you will receive various opininated answers. I remember talking with my pediatrican about some of these issues and her response was this.... "Everyone assumes that because I am a Doctor, my children hit every milestone on target, and I did everything 'by the book.' Well, that wasn't the case, and as your child's Doctor, I give you permission to lie!"
When the pediatrican said these words to me, I took a deep breath and let go of a lot of first time parent anxiety. The pediatrican told me that people would assume that her children slept in their own beds from day 1, threw the pacifer out before a year old and were potty trained well before turning 2. She stated, she would just look people in the eye and say, "well, of course they did." She said to me, no one will ever know whether or not your child does or does not do any of those things on a consistent basis, so tell them what they want to hear, "of course my angel does that!" So many friends and family criticized mine and my husbands way of raising our daughter....I mean we were young, what did we know?!
One of our "biggest mistakes" (if that's what you want to call it), was allowing our first born sleep in bed with us. It felt comfortable and secure to have her in the middle of the two of us. She was so peaceful and innocent when she slept, we couldn't resist. When did we finally "boot" her out? hhmmmmm.... when she was 7 and we were expecting number 2! We tried everything to get her to sleep in her own bed. She would start out in her bed, but in the middle of the night she would creep in our room, and snuggle up right in the small of my back.
I was 20 years young when our first was born, and starting my 3rd year in college. I took a year off of school when she was born, and got a job. Then an exceptional opportunity arose for my husband and I to live rent free in a house 2 doors down from my parents for a year. With this opportunity, I went back to school to pursue my original goal to become a Physical Therapist. I spent 12+ hours away from our daughter daily, not to mention the time I had to spend studying, too. To put it simply, I felt guilty. How could I be away for a majority of her waking hours, then make her go to bed, alone? I just couldn't. So, there she slept, in the middle of my husband and I... for 7 years.
So many people asked how do you do it? Why do you allow it? I thought about it and struggled with it for a while. Then, one day I told myself, there will come a day when she will not want my hugs, my kisses or to snuggle with me, and instead of wishing this time away, I was going to embrace it! While 7 years may seem long, she was the first. There can always be another little one, but not another first!
You can't get these days back. When the day is done, all that is left are the memories!
